


Can You Break What You Cannot See?

by LunaD



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brotherly Love and Support, Canon-Typical Violence, Donatello-centric, Gen, Near Drowning, Panic Attacks, Whump, mind probe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23912377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaD/pseuds/LunaD
Summary: After the brothers rescue Donatello from the Triceraton's ship, they must now help their brother through the mental and physical toll it took, all while evading triceraton soldiers.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 76





	1. Of the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> When it's Golden Week but everyone's still in quarantine so you marathon every series of TMNT.
> 
> I was never a fan of how much they downplayed what happened to Donatello aboard the Triceraton's ship. A slight angsty divergence from the Space Invaders arc from the 2003 series.

The three turtles are roughly pushed into the large chamber room as the Triceriton guard announces their presence to the Prime Leader.

“Your excellency, I have-'' The Prime Leader cuts him off with an impatient wave of his hand, continuing his aggravated, wordy assault on their brother.

“Fight all you want terrapin! Your brain will fry long before you’ll be able to keep the fugitoid’s location from me!”

The three turtles right themselves in time to see their brother being held by a triceraton guard, a strange helmet secured to his head. Crackling electric currents jump from each node attached to the device. Mikey gasps in horror as an inhuman shriek escapes from Donatello’s mouth, his body shaking at the great force he’s exerting, fighting the device. Random memories flash on the large screen in front of them, it spans from the floor to the ceiling, and stretches on each side in a curvature. It feels very wrong seeing these memories, even if they include his brother’s, they’re still a part of Donnie’s private thoughts.

Some memories are good ones, ones from when they were young, but others...other’s remind the brother’s of just how much they’ve been through together. Raphael and Leonardo yell for their brother in unison, anger lacing their demands as Donnie continues to writhe and cry out in the guards' grip.

The Triceraton accompanying the three brothers lays a soft hand on Raphael, whispering for him to stay strong before clearing his throat loudly and places a fist to his chest. “Prime Leader, we have captured the remaining terrapin creatures. What would you like me to do with them?”

The Prime leader turns to them, his stern intense glare morphing to unsettling glee as he sizes his prisoners up. “Finally,” he announces, spreading his arms out, “you four have been a thorn in my tail for far too long. I’m going to greatly enjoy watching the life drain from your bodies.”

“What are you doing to our brother!” Mikey demanded, resulting in a deep growl and a sharp jab from one of the guard’s poles.

“I’m so glad you asked. I’m probing his mind for the fugitoid’s location. You can try to deny it all you want but if the information is in there,” he taps the side of his head, “we’ll find it.” After a moment he chuckles, turning to Donatello. “And every second of it will be so very excruciating.”

The Prime Leader barely has time to finish a bout of laughter before a loud crackling sound draws his attention. Smoke begins emanating from the device, followed by a flash that blinds everyone. Sparks fly off it causing the guard to yelp and drop Donatello, who slumps to the ground.

“No!” The Prime Leader jumps at Donatello's limp figure, grabbing him all too roughly as smoke and sparks continue to sporadically appear on the helmet. “What have you done you idiot creature! No one’s resisted the mind probe before! My device! My fugitoid!” Donatello’s head lulls as the triceriton spits his frustration like fire at the incapacitated turtle. He lets out a deep growl before hurling Donnie down the stairs. He tumbles down the flight and lands at his brother’s feet, who call out and rush to him.

“Get that thing off of him!” Raph yells as the three kneel. Leo yanks the device off his brother, grunting as sparks shock him in his grip. He throws the device out of reach and turns Donnie on his back, “Don, Donnie, can you hear me?” He places a hand on Donnie’s neck, checking his pulse. Leo catches the irregular beats, too fast to give Leo any sort of comfort. They can see his ragged breathing and twitching limbs now, no doubt aftershock from the power surge.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Mikey asks, twisting his fingers in his hands nervously.

After a moment Leo responds, “He’s burning up, and his pulse and breathing is worrisome...But he otherwise seems unhurt.”

“ _Unhurt?_ ” Raph spits, standing. “If that’s what you call unhurt, then I’d love to show you just how hurt someone can be!” Raph tries to lunge at the Prime Leader, prompting a taze from the guard behind him. Raph isn’t even able to get his foot off the ground before the shock has him back on his knees.

“Enough!” The Prime Leader announces, “I want these four annihilated, I want them wiped from the face of the planet for what they did! I want them blasted into smithereens!” He shoves the guard who was previously holding their brother, “Blast them all!”

As the guards raise their guns at the four turtles, the triceraton guard behind Raph raises his hand. “Wait Prime Leader, would it not be better to prolong their suffering in your personal torture chamber?”

The Prime Leader is taken off guard for a moment. Placing a claw at his jaw, he smiles, “That’s not a bad idea. Very well,” He waves a dismissing hand at the guard, “take them at once!”

The guard bows, rounding up the three turtles as the other guard grabs Donatello, hoisting him over his shoulder before following them out the door. After they pass a few corridors, putting some distance between them and the throne room, Raph turns to the triceraton guard.

“Was the stun really that necessary?”

Leo cuts in before the guard has time to respond, laying a hand on Raph’s shoulder. “Raph, Monza Ram was just trying to look convincing, plus you could’ve jeopardized the plan running at him like that.”

Raph roughly shrugs Leo’s hand off, grunting. He looks to his brother, still being carried by the other guard. “Are you sure Don’s gonna be alright?”

Leo looks down as they keep walking. “I...I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like anything serious but we won’t know just how much damage that device did until he wakes up.”

“If I may,” Monza Ram chimes in, “the mind probe device is no joke on our planet, only the most desperate of times does Xanramon use it. More often than not does it melt the unwilling host’s brain in exchange for getting the information he seeks. It is something to be feared among the triceratons.”

“Not exactly making us feel better my dude.” Mikey retorts.

Monza Ram holds up a hand, “Your brother is strong Michelangelo, much stronger than he looks. Although scarred, I am certain that your brother will recover. I’m just ashamed that we did not get to him before he was subject to such a distasteful device.”

Leo is quick to rebut, “Don’t be, we’re grateful that your team and the rebels were willing to put yourselves at risk to help us get Donnie back. We couldn’t have rescued him without your help.”

The triceraton nods at Leo, “Come, we must make it to the hanger before they realize you’ve escaped.”

As they pass through another corridor, they hear a cry from behind them.

They turn to see their brother in distress, flailing in the rebel’s grip. Donatello’s heel knocks into his jaw, throwing him off kilter and causing him to drop Donatello. He falls to the floor not so gracefully with a loud clack before attempting to roll to his feet.

“Donnie!” They cry out as they realize their brother has awoken. Donnie attempts to turn back to the guard and fight, but his leg gives out as he pivots, causing him to stumble back to his hands and knees. His ears are ringing and the whole room is spinning. He sees three rounded shadows hastily approach him. They’re touching him, saying words he can’t understand. It feels like his brain is on fire and every sensor in his skin is firing. it’s all too much.

“Get off of me! Let me go!” He struggles in his brother’s grip.

“Donnie! Donnie look at me!” Leo grabs his brother’s face, making him focus on nothing else. Both Raph and Mikey are at Don’s side, steadying him as they kneel in the walkway.  
Donnie’s focus slowly comes into view as he makes out his brother’s face. Leo’s voice fading in as the ringing subsides.

“Leo?” Donnie says shakily, his voice cracking.

“It’s okay Donnie, we got you.” Raph rubs his brother’s shell as Donnie turns to him.

“Yeah dude, we’ll always have your shell!” Mikey reassures him before adding, “Uh, but we should probably keep moving before that crazy oversized geko finds us.”

“Mikey’s right.”Leo stands, reaching out his hand to Donatello. “Can you stand?”

Raph and Mikey stand, helping Don to his feet. “I-I think so,” He takes a step towards Leo, but as his weight moves to his other foot, he buckles.

“Whoa gotcha, bro.” Raph says as he grasps his brother’s arm.

His body starts to tremble as he begins feeling light headed again. Groaning, he places a hand to his head. “My brain feels like scrambled eggs.”

“You’re very strong to have held off the mind probe for so long, friend.” Monza Ram comments. “No doubt there will be side effects, so please take it easy for the time being. Now, we must hurry to the hanger.”

Mikey trots along in front of them, flashing Donnie a supportive smile. “Yeah, don’t worry bro, nothing some good ol’ New York three cheese can’t fix.”

“Alright tough guy,” Raph jokes, placing Don’s arm around his shoulders, and his own around Donnie’s side. “Let’s get you back home.”

They manage to reach the hanger and into the Prime Leader’s spacecraft before anyone notices. Raph gently helps Donnie into one of the seats as Leo thanks the rebels for all their help. Mikey takes the pilot’s seat, ecstatic to fly again. “Good thing we already know how to fly this thing!”

“Technically the fugitoid piloted us last time.” Donnie retorts. He’s starting to feel extremely heavy and tired now that the adrenaline has worn off. Just lifting an appendage takes so much effort that he can’t help but shake. It feels like there’s an extreme amount of gravity piled on his shell. Who knew simply breathing could be this difficult.

“How hard can it be?” Mikey confidently states, “Especially for someone like the Battle Nexus Champion!” Mikey lets out an exclamation of pain and rubs his head as Raph slaps him.

Raph falls into his seat, adding, “Just try not to get us killed knucklehead.”

Mikey pouts a bit as he glares at Raph. “You’re just jealous cause I beat you.”

“Guys, enough! We need to get this ship in the air. Now!” Leo boards the ship as the hatch closes, followed by the sounds of blasters.

Raph chuckles to himself as he joins Leo in the other pod, “Heh, Prime Leader’s just in time to watch us steal his personal cruiser again.”

Leo jumps into the gunner’s chair, already starting a return fire as he calls back to his brother. “Now would be a good time to fly us outta here Mikey!”

Mikey searches the control panel, trying to decide which one starts the jets. “Uh...maybe this one?” The lights flicker to dim glow and a roaring starts up.

Don can start to hear the buzzing in his head return. He grips the hand rests hard enough that he can’t feel them anymore. He tries to control his breathing as he fights the unfriendly feeling in his brain. The open, violating feeling of that _thing_ combing his mind, his memories, his thoughts.

He tries to swallow the lump in his throat but his throat is too dry. He lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes. _Okay Don, you can do this. Compartmentalize. Your brother’s need you, you can process this all later. Right now focus on the ship, focus on helping Mikey fly this thing home, far far away from that stupid device._

Just as he starts to get his spinning thoughts under control, he hears an “Ah-hah!” from Mikey, and suddenly the spacecraft takes off, jolting everyone. Their seat straps tighten and the backs of each seat flips forward, placing emergency triceraton helmets on him and Mikey. Red lights flash in the cockpit as a voice announces “Emergency protocol activated.”

By the time Donatello has realized what has happened it’s too late. In an instant he’s back in the Prime Leader’s throne room, fighting for his life mentally, and failing. He can feel every agonizing moment of the torture he endured, alone, powerless, inescapable. He claws at the helmet unaware of anything else, the ringing in his ears blocking out the alarm overhead, the engines from the shuttle, or the voice from his brothers. His vision narrows, black spots appearing before him as he makes out his own terrified expression on the visor's reflection before it’s obscured by the fog from his ragged breath.


	2. Of the Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donatello continues to deal with the aftermath of the mind probe while running from the triceratons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments, they're what keep me writing! I decided to stretch out Donatello's suffering because of all you kind people, it's three chapters now!

“Uh, hey Donnie, I could really use a little help!” Mikey struggles to say as the intense gravitational force pushes his body back into the pilot’s chair. His body moves in slow motion as he reaches for the same button he pushed earlier. With a grunt he manages to reach it, but the button does nothing. 

“Stupid spaceship!” Mikey curses under his breath as he begins mashing the button in frustration. “Donnie where’s that big brain of yours? I could really use some help figuring out which button let’s us off this ride!” Mikey turns to his brother when he doesn’t hear a response. 

“Donnie?” He can barely make out his brother’s face in the visor, but the death grip he has on the armchair and the audible hasty breaths clues Mikey in that something is very wrong. 

“Yo Donnie? Are you alright? Say something!” When Donatello’s breathing becomes more desperate Mikey unbuckles his seat in an attempt to get to his brother. That was a big mistake. As soon as Mikey steps away from his chair the intense force shoves him to the ground. Getting to his brother was going to be impossible like this. He grabs onto his arm rest with both hands before the force flings him to the back of the spacecraft. 

“Okay don’t panic!” Mikey slowly struggles to hoist himself up towards the front again, his arms shaking with the effort. He reaches for the control panel, only for his hand to come flying back into his face with a loud smack. “Ow! Stop the emergency protocol you stupid hunk of junk!”

An automated voice responds overhead. “Emergency protocol suspended.” Before Mikey realizes what’s happened, the ship suddenly halts, causing Mikey to be thrown forward into the console with a loud thud.

“Oh man, talk about stopping on a dime.” Mikey rubs his now throbbing neck as his other brothers appear in front of him.

“This is why you should always wear a seatbelt.” Mikey looks up to see Leo and Raph, a smirk on their faces. 

The brothers' attention is taken to their other family member as they hear Donatello struggling with his seat belt. His hands are frantic and shaking, but he manages to get the belt off and flies out of the chair, landing on all fours on the deck. 

“Donnie!” Mikey is the first to react, remembering his brother’s distress from earlier. As Mikey reaches him, Donnie is scraping at the helmet, logical reasoning being left thrown out the window as he fails to find the latch to release himself. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Raph asks, concerned.

“I don’t know, he started freaking out when we went all supersonic. He wasn’t responding to me at all.” Mikey manages to get the helmet off of his brother, who takes a desperate gulp of air as it pops off. Donatello is visibly shaking, sweat pouring off his head. 

“Don what’s going on with you?” Raph stands to the side, unsure of what he should do. At this point Leo cuts in between them and gets on Don’s level, careful not to touch him as he responds to Raph. 

“He’s having a panic attack,” Mikey and Raph look at each other in shock as Leo continues, “Donnie I know it’s hard but you need to focus on breathing. If you don’t control your breathing, you’re going to pass out.”

Donatello clutches his chest, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t!” He utters weakly, each word bookended with labored breaths.

“Donnie, it’s okay, you need to remind your body you’re no longer in danger. They can’t hurt you, not anymore.”

Donnie looks up at his older brother, the expression in his eyes causing a great pain in Leo’s own heart. He forgoes giving his brother space, placing a loving hand on Don’s shoulder. “It’s over Don, you’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you anymore.” Leo rubs his other hand over the deck. “Feel that? We’re not there anymore, we’re on a spacecraft. On our way home.”

Donatello mimics his brother, rubbing a shaky hand along the floor as he attempts to get his breathing under control. Donnie closes his eyes again, fighting a wave of dizziness. His voice is laced in frustration, emotion cracking through, “I know we’re not, my body just won’t listen to me!”

“Look at me Don,” Leo commands, squeezing his shoulder tight, “breath with me.” Leo takes a deep breath in, holding it as Donnie tries to follow. He exhales through his nose for several seconds before repeating it again. Donnie follows the best he can, trying not to let the nausea turn into upchuck. They repeat over and over until they are synchronized, Donatello’s uneven breathing slowly becoming more stable. Soon he starts to feel an intense weight lifting off of his shoulders, as well as an extreme exhaustion setting in. Leo smiles, holding his hand out to his brother, “Better?”

Donatello takes it, “Much.”

Raphael and Michelangelo awkwardly stand near their brother, not quite sure how to act. Mikey ends up taking the pilot's chair again as he pops the triceraton helmet off, placing it out of view of Donnie. He’s unsure if the helmet itself relates to what happened but he figures it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

Raph lightly pats his brother’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about it bro, next time we come across those pea-brained dinosaurs we’ll show them what happens when you mess with one of our own.”

Donnie gives his brother a lopsided smile as he returns to Mikey’s side at the controls, “Thanks, Raph.”

Mikey leans to Raph, whispering, “Should we be concerned if Donnie sees any helmets now?”

Raphael smacks his brother upside the head. “Real sensitive bro.”

“It’s not the helmet Mikey,” Donatello replies, having overheard them. “it’s just...when it activated, it...it surprised me is all. Don’t worry,” He smiles, “I’ll be fine.”

Raph and Mikey look to each other, still unsure.

Donnie leaned back in his chair, letting the breathtaking view of Earth comfort him as it grew closer. If he wasn’t so absolutely exhausted, he’d be in awe of the magnificent vastness of space and the advancements of the technology piloting them home. 

Raph put his arm around Leo, guiding him to the other side of the spacecraft. “Be real with me Leo, just how badly did that thing mess with Donnie’s head?” 

Leo looked down, his expression lacking confidence. “Honestly Raph, the way Monza Ram talked about that device…” Leo closed his mouth, stopping that train of thought. “I’m just glad that our brother isn’t a vegetable right now. It’s evident how mentally traumatic the experience was for him, but I just don’t know what we can do to help.”

Raph glanced back at their purple clad brother, “Whatever Donnie needs, we’ll be there for him.”

“Attention all passengers!” Mikey mokingly announces, “Last stop Manhattan, please make sure to put your seatbelts on and tray tables up as we begin our landing!”

Leo appears by Mikey, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Nice job Mikey. Let’s set this thing down where we won’t attract too much attention.”

“Too much attention?” Raph crosses his arms, scoffing, “We’re flying an alien spacecraft in the middle of a full blown invasion. I’m not sure we could draw attention if we wanted to.”

The conversation halts as the craft suddenly pivots, the collision with the ally causing them all to stumble forward.

Mikey laughs sheepishly, “My bad.”

Screeching echoes through the alley as the ship scrapes along the building while it lands. Raph goes to Donnie, who had succumbed to his fatigue on the way home. He gently shakes his brother as Leo and Mikey make their way down the landing, checking to see if it’s clear. 

Leo signals to his brother, who makes his way out to the end of the ally. Mikey is quiet as he signals back to Leo. All clear. Leo peers around the corner, spotting a platoon of triceraton soldiers flying out of sight. There’s distant screams and smoke rising from a couple blocks down. Several sirens wail softly a distance away. Leo turns to signal Mikey, stopping to turn back as Raph calls out to them.

“Guys we need to get Donnie back pronto,” He says impatiently as he appears at the doorway, his brother looking extremely pale and leaning on Raphael heavily. “He’s burning up.”

Leo turns back to Mikey as a large figure appears behind him, he has just enough time to call out to the youngest brother before a fist comes smashing down through the concrete where Mikey was before. Mikey backflips to stand with his brothers, nunchucks swirling. “So much for a clear getaway.”

Leo unsheathes his katanas, turning back to Raph, “Get Donnie to the sewers while we hold him off!”

Raph grits his teeth, he knows Leo’s right, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. He hurries past his brothers as Leo blocks the lazer from the blaster from hitting them. As Mikey roundhouse kicks the triceraton, they make it to the manhole. Raph gently sets Donnie down next to him, “Alright buddy lets get you home.” Donnie leans on his bo staff as his brother pries open the hole. 

“Raph!” 

Raphael looks up to see another triceraton soldier, his baton inches from his face. Donnie grunts as he fights back, blocking it with his own staff. Raphael has just enough time to ready his sais as the triceraton knocks the staff out of Donnies grip, wheeling him backwards onto his shell. Raphael lunges at the soldier with a cry, tackling him to the ground.

Donnie pants, rolling onto his stomach. The ringing is back and his vision is doubling. _Breathe Donnie, just breathe_ , he thinks as the nausea stirs inside him. Before he knows it he’s lifted into the air, staring into the eyes of a very angry triceraton. Donnie gasps, his feet attempting to kick at the dinosaur as his hands clutch at the large hand around his neck.

Donnie hears his name being called but it’s difficult to process who said it. Everything feels like it's lagging, like an overloaded bandwidth.  
“Haven’t you guys done enough to our brother?” The triceraton turns and blocks the shirukin with his arm, throwing Donnie into the wall as Mikey jumps at him. Now with both hands free, the triceraton grabs Mikey, using the momentum of his jump to send him flying into his brother. His elbow hits Don in the plasteron, knocking the wind out of him. 

Mikey untangles himself, rubbing his head, “Donnie, you okay?”

“Look out!” Leo yells as the triceraton fires his blaster at the two of them. Mikey instinctively covers Donatello with his body, the blaster hitting him in the shell with an unpleasant sizzle.

Leo slices the blaster in half before he can manage to fire off any more shots. He launches up with his knees, uppercutting the soldier. He falls back with a hearty grunt, his head lulling on the concrete, out cold. Leo turns to Raph, who had just finished dealing with his own opponent, before sheathing his weapons and running to his brothers.

Mikey is rubbing his shoulder, his teeth gritting as he rolls it.

“Are you hurt?” Leo offers his hand.

“I think I’m okay. Gonna hurt like shell tomorrow though.” Mikey turns to Donatello, helping him up despite his own injury. As soon as Donnie is up, he doubles over, finally succumbing to the nausea. 

“Ew!” Mikey reels back, desperate to avoid the half-digested meal from hitting his feet. Leo is quick to catch Donnie, moving him away from the mess. 

“Sorry.” Donnie says sheepishly to Mikey.

“Feel any better?” Leo asks, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

“Yeah actually, a bit.”

The four turn as they hear a triceraton voice nearby and quickly move their conversation to a more private location.

Donnie feels himself shaking. No, someone is shaking him. He makes out muffled voices, the distorted tones morphing into audible words. His name. Someone's callin him. It’s Leo. Donatello jerks in response, searching his surroundings, trying to catch any sort of familiarity. 

“Where are we?” 

Leo slowly lets go, his intense expression changing to worry.

“We’re in the sewers bro, you really had us worried.” He finds Raph, standing over Leo’s shoulder, looking equally as worried.

“Yeah,” Mikey adds, “you were spacing out real hard, we thought you turned into a zombie or something.”

Donnie rubs his forehead, the intense headache returning. “S-sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” 

Raph takes a step forward, “Don’t scare us like that, I-”

“Over here!”

Raphael is cut off by the sound of splashes echoing throughout the tunnel, several triceraton guards having spotted them. The four of them were hidden in an alcove vent, private, but blocked. 

"Hey fearless leader, we're sitting ducks here!"

Leo ordered them to draw the fire away from the pocket vent, away from Donnie. The three drew their weapons and advanced on them, taking a few off guard.

Donnie could’t just sit there while his brother’s fought for him. He told his arm to move to his staff, but his grip faltered and fell back to his lap. _Just grab the stick dang it! You can’t be any help to your brother’s like this!_ He closed his eyes, taking deep steady breaths as he built up energy, moving his arm back to his staff with a great sweep. The staff hit the concrete with a hollow tap, the wood creaking as Donnie steadied his weight with it. By the time he stood he was panting, sweat dripping from his face. 

If Donnatello had blacked out like his brother’s said he had, then something was very wrong. If only he could think clear enough to figure out what to do. It felt like everything was on fire, like gravity was three times heavier.

He watched as the tunnel slowly turned on it’s side. When he realized it was him and not the tunnel, he rested his arm on the cool walls to catch himself. It felt like his head was going to explode. If someone told him they could physically see his head throbbing, he’d believe it. He managed to reach the end of the alcove, now able to clearly see the fight.

His brother’s were separated, Mikey and Leo successfully having broken the troop into smaller sections, leading them farther away. Raph was having a harder time, fighting three of them at once. As two tried to attack close range, the third would fire bursts as he saw openings. Raphael did a good job multitasking, but side stepped out of the way of the blasts, and into a mistake.

The triceraton’s fist connected with Raph’s face, causing him to stumble back into the arms of the second one. 

Donatello called out to him, forgetting for a moment that he hadn’t yet been noticed by soldiers. It was too late for Raph, who had already been swung around onto his shell in the water. The triceraton held the turtle down, trying to drown him. 

The other triceratons moved towards Donatello, who decided now would be a good time to ready his bo. Donatello decided to move first, taking a step down and out of the alcove into the open. Unfortunately for him, he miscalculated the distance, stumbling onto his knees instead. 

Raphael grabbed at the triceraton, it was hard to see where he was touching through the water, but he managed to find the throat, jabbing his trachea hard enough to get him to let go with one of his hands. 

Donatello only had time to register what a mistake this was before he was grabbed by one of the soldiers. 

Raphael used his position to twist around, pulling the triceraton’s hand through his legs, causing him to flip onto his back as he continued gasping for air. Raphael gave the triceraton a good punch to the jaw, knocking him out. He huffed, turning to the other two. The triceraton cocked his gun at Donatello, who was hanging by his arm in the other triceraton’s grip. Donatello could only make out his brother’s form thanks to how still he was standing.

“I’m sorry.” Donatello uttered. He could make out his brother’s response, though it sounded thick and distorted.

“Don’t be Donnie, it ain’t your fault.” Raph clenched his fists, waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of everything so far, I'm curious as to what you like/don't like in my writing!


	3. Of the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie has a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter maybe 3 times, ended up just deciding to add an epilogue after this.

“Throw your weapons!” The triceraton demanded.

“Don’t listen to him!” Donnie retorted, “I’ll be fine!” To emphasize his point, he pivoted in his captor’s grasp, kicking at the triceraton’s face.

Raph’s face fell, the triceraton didn’t even flinch at the impacts. Donnie didn’t realize just how weak he was. It took only one more kick before Donnatello couldn’t even manage to get his foot up anymore. He swayed in the triceraton’s grip, drained and panting. Raphael silently threw his weapons away from him, which sunk into the waters with a ‘plunk’.

Donnie managed to raise his head, making eye contact with his brother. His expression was a mixture of defeat and disgust at his own uselessness. Raphael hated seeing it. Donatello was anything but useless. And right now all he could think about was that it would only take one or two good hits to take Donnie out in his current state. _Where the shell were Leo and Mikey?_

The triceraton, having realized what little threat the purple turtle was, turned his gun on Raph. Raph sidestepped the barrage of shots, running up the wall to flip out of the way. By the time he turned around he heard a gasp. Donatello had managed to feign enough strength to unclasp the triceraton’s mask, his breathable air escaping into the sewer. While they were distracted, Raph lept for his sai. Spinning, he threw it at the gun, impaling it. 

As Raphael charged the triceraton, the second one, still gasping for breath, threw Donatello down the way. Raphael heard a clatter as his brother’s head collided with the gate before plunging into the neighboring water chamber. For a split second cold fear filled Raph, before turning to white anger. Raphael spun, rage fuling him, kicking the gun out of the soldier’s hands, and once more into the soldier’s face. He bounced off of the triceraton as he stumbled into the water, kneeing the second one back. He landed on the triceraton’s throat, twisting his knee to choke him out. 

As the other one attempted to sit up, Raphael gripped his uniform, laying on a blind flurry of punches. The sickening sound echoed through the chamber, rivaling the roar of the nearby drainage pipes. Raphael didn’t stop, not until his opponent was long out. With a huff Raphael dropped the triceraton, finally stilling his raging emotions. The blood on his fists mixed seamlessly into the murky waters. For a moment he forgot what he was doing, until he saw his own reflection in the water. In an instant he was reminded of Don, and cold fear replaced his moment of calm. He stumbled over the still bodies of the triceratons, running to the water chamber after his brother.

“Donnie!” Raphael called out. The waters were swirling about, leading into three different chambers. _If he got knocked out and carried into one of those…_ Raphael clenched his teeth. “Don’t think like that Raph.” His heart was racing, sure, they were turtles but that doesn’t mean they could breathe underwater. And if his brother hadn’t drowned, the impact with his head could have done him in. In an instant he sees his brother’s bo staff twirling about in the nearby water. He hastily wades through the chest high pool and grasps it, feeling around blindly for its owner.

“Donnie!” He continues to call, but there’s still no answer. He glances at the three waterways, unsure which to take. He decides to dive down and search the floor of the chamber, secretly hoping he won’t see his brother’s limp form. He struggles against the current as it tries to sweep him into the eastern waterway. Using the bo staff, he blocks the entrance, fighting the current as he attempts to get back into the main chamber. The current is so strong, there’s no way Donnie could have fought against it in his condition even if he had still been conscious. 

Finally Raphael manages to pull himself away from the undercurrent and back into the main chamber. At this point he starts to panic. His brother could be drowning, he doesn’t know which gate he could have been sucked into, and with how strong the currents were he could be several blocks away already. Raphael does the only thing he can.

He screams and punches a nearby pipe, denting it. That’s when he hears it. An ever so quiet gasp. Raphael spins around, searching for the source, praying that he hears it again, praying that it’s somehow Donnie and not some cruel trick of his mind. Seconds tick by, too many, and Raphael’s shoulder’s begin to droop with disappointment. He turns away, deciding that if he catches up with Mikey and Leo, they could search all three waterways.

Then he hears it again.

A hoarse plea to his left. His name is called, soft yet desperate. Raph spins, catching the image of his brother’s bandana in the water near the west side drain. In a moment Raph is across the way, cursing the current for slowing his pace. It’s hard to make out his brother’s form under the swirling streams, but he realizes Donnie is stuck. 

He’s wedged between a broken section of the bars. It’s meant to be a deterrent from large debris being sucked into the waterway, but it’s been so neglected that many of the locked gates have half-way disintegrated with rust. As he gets closer he notices that every now and then the waters dip down just far enough for Donatello to gasp as much air as he can before being submerged again. 

At this point Raphael is swimming as fast as his body can carry him, almost to his brother. The last leg of distance is cut short by the current picking him up, propelling him with great speed towards the drain. He swipes his feet down, hoping to halt his pace before he too is sucked under. His toes brush the bottom of the pool, the water too high for him to properly create a counterweight. He collides into the intact portion of the bars, a loud clatter being drowned out only by the roaring current. 

He positions himself against the bars, hoping they are still strong enough to support him while he grabs at his brothers still form. He tugs at Donatello, desperate to get his brother up for air. He tugs, but the awkward angle doesn’t help. Raphael can feel Don’s shell scrape against the broken metal bars. He curses, positioning his feet on either side of his brother. He grabs Donnie under the arms, heaving him back towards him. His muscles ache but the sight of Donnie’s head breaking through the surface gives him hope. 

His brother is gasping and sputtering water, his expression slightly terrified.

“Don’t worry bro I got you!” Raph yells as he continues pulling. 

Between coughs his brother responds, urgency lacing his voice. “It’s no use Raph-”

“I’m not leaving you!” Raph growls, determination in his eyes. He’d smack his brother for even considering leaving him if he had a free hand.

“No, listen!” Donnie sputters as a wave washes over his head, accidentally inhaling some of it. “The vent! Close it!”

Raph turns to where his brother was eyeing desperately. A large pipe above them pouring a large volume of water into their current chamber.

Raph looks back to Donnie. For a moment he just stares at him, his arms beginning to shake with the strain of keeping his brother above the water. Raph grinds his teeth, “Okay. Hold your breath.”

Donnie inhales as much air as he can before Raph lets go, the current knocking his brother back into the taught divit of the bars. Raphael makes his way to the wall, realizing that the longer way would be the fastest as he wouldn’t be fighting the current head on. A clock ticks in Raph’s mind, reminding him of every second it’s been since he let go of his brother. He makes it to the platform and runs up the wall, flipping onto the pipe above. From up here he can’t see his brother under the current, not even the tails from his bandana. 

Quickly he grabs the valve, pulling with all his might. It doesn’t budge. Raph slams his fist against it in frustration. “Come on you stupid rusted piece of junk!” 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Donnie’s bo staff, still attached on his back. He pulls it out, realizing he can use it to leverage his weight against the valve. He knocks the staff into place, and heaves his body onto the other end. At first it doesn’t move, but Raph hoists himself against it over and over. The valve inches around, a little more with each shove. Finally the valve spins around, causing Raph to almost topple off the pipe. He hastily removes the staff, frantically spinning the valve shut with his hands. As soon as the squealing rusted door locks in place Raph is plummeting into the main chamber. After all, the quickest way to his brother is straight down.

He feels the water level slowly draining as he allows the current to sweep him back to Donatello. At last he’s back with his brother, attempting to pull him back out of the water so he can breathe again. Donatello’s face stops just shy of the surface. For a moment he’s confused, then he realizes that when he let go of his brother earlier, he must have become lodged deeper. 

“No! No! No!” Raph kicks at the gate, pulling Donnie back as hard as he can. He continues frantically kicking at the bars, hoping the motion will give just enough leeway to jostle his brother free. He doesn’t think about how Don isn’t moving, isn’t even trying to fight. He just keeps kicking. Finally it gives. With a scraping sound Don’s shell is freed and they are propelled backwards. Donatello lands in Raphaels lap with a splash, and Raph realizes that the water level had lowered enough to weaken the current.

Raph grabs at his brother, turning him over onto his shell, the water framing his still form. 

“Don are you okay?” Raphael shakes his brother as he continues calling out, “Donnie, Donnie say something!” 

There is a very long moment as Raphael waits for a response from his brother. None comes.

“Aw shell.” Raph positions himself over his brother, placing both his hands on Don’s plasteron as he begins pumping his brother’s heart. “Come on Donnie, don’t do this to me!” 

By the fourth pump Donatello gasps, choking as water escapes his lungs. Raphael nearly melts into the water as relief replaces his panic. Ecstatic, he lifts Donnie up and hugs him tight, trying not to think about how close he was to losing him.

“Jeez, I thought you- I thought for sure…” He bites his lip as it trembles, fighting back tears as he allows for one more moment of softness before releasing his gasping brother. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!”

Donnie attempts to laugh, but his speech is slurred and quiet. “Can’t get rid of me that easy.” 

The water is almost completely gone now, and Raph sees how violently his brother is shivering. Instinctively he rests a hand on his brother’s head. “You’re burning up Don, we need to do something about that fever.” Raph hoists his brother up. Noticing the limp, he glances at Donatello’s leg, a mean gash on his thigh. He figures it must have been from the broken bars.

Donatello’s teeth chatter, his response is delayed enough to worry the older turtle. “Fever? But I feel so cold.”

Raphael slings his brother’s arm around him, dragging him effortlessly up the platform and back to where they were earlier. The movements cause Donnie to falter, and he doubles over a few times, his empty stomach resulting in pathetic dry heaves. By the time they round the corner Raphael spots his brothers.

“What happened?” Leo asks as they bound up to join them.

“We almost got our shells handed to us is what happened. We need to get out of here fast before more of them show up. I don’t know if Donnie is going to last much longer.”

“Agreed. We should take a shortcut through the abandoned subways to get back to the lair. There we can drop Donatello off with Master Splinter before returning to the surface.”

“Are you crazy? What are we supposed to do against an entire triceraton invasion? In case you hadn’t noticed, only three of us are in fighting shape at the moment.”

Both Leo and Raph are taken off track when Mikey inquires about Donnie. They turn to him to see a stream of blood coming from his nose. Donatello is confused at their gaze until he notices the drops mixing into the water below him. He touches his nose, taking away a good amount of the blood before looking at it on his hand. He didn’t even feel it.

“I-It’s probably just from the fight earlier.” Donatello replies, trying to not worry everyone. 

Leo instantly takes Donatello’s other arm. “We can talk once Donnie’s taken care of.”

Donnie had all but collapsed on the way there. When he couldn’t move his legs anymore Leo forgoed the joint effort and opted to carry his brother on his back. Leo could feel the heat emanating off his brother, and with every sweat drip and labored breath, Leo walked faster. 

“He’s not responding again.” Mikey informed Leo.

“Let him rest Mikey, he needs to recover his strength.”

“No, Mikey’s right.” Raph interjects, resulting in a shocked expression from his brother. Raphael is quick to add to his comment. “For once.” He ignores the cheeky smile from Michelangelo and continues before Mikey has time to respond. “Donnie might be concussed, we need to keep him awake.”

Leo doesn’t falter in his step, keeping a brisk pace as they continue down the tunnel. “Alright, Mikey that sounds like your department.”

“Yeah,” Raphael smiles teasingly, “you’re great at being annoying. No way Donnie’ll be able to sleep with your voice ringing in his ears.”

Mikey puts a hand dramatically on his chest, “It’s one of my many turtle-given gifts!” At once Mikey is at Don’s side, repeating his name in a way that makes both brother’s instantly regret this decision. Donatello’s eyes flutter as he tries to open them in response, the josteling of Leo’s movements threatening to lull him back into unconsciousness. 

“Uh, now's probably a good time to tell you it was me who took that whatchamacallit from your lab last week.” Noticing the confused look on his brother, he continued, “You know, that stick with buttons? Kind of looks like an alligator's mouth?” Mikey moved his hands up to his mouth, imitating his description.

Donatello sighed, “It’s a caliper, Mikey.”

Mikey snaps his fingers, “Yeah that thing! I needed it to measure how thick my sandwich was!”

Donatello groaned at the revelation. “Is that why it smelled like peanut butter and pickles?”

“Nice job Mikey, keep him talking.” Raph smiled.

“Okay,” Mikey put up his hands defensively, “don’t be mad Don, but I also-”

“Stop!” Leo abruptly halted, causing Don’s face to bounce off his brother’s shell. He let out a low groan at the impact, the only other noise was the distant splashing growing ever closer.

Long distorted shadows danced and grew on the walls before them. Once Leo made out the voices he ordered everyone into the nearby water chute on their left. Leo was the last one in, the extra weight of his brother proving to be more difficult the longer they traveled. He could make out the deep voices of the triceratons as they passed by. The three turtles had spread their appendages out in the chute, holding their bodies in place so as to not slide down the waterway. 

Mikey let out a frustrated groan as his arms began to shake with the effort. He whispered to his brothers, “Are they gone yet? I don’t think I can hold on much longer.”

“Shut it!” Raph hissed, Mikey's comment echoing in the chute a little too loudly.

“They’re almost gone.” Leo responded, craning his head to peer out of the entrance. He tried to make out what they were saying, but the loud engines from their transportation was interfering. Leo attempted to lean in closer, unaware of Donatello’s grip slipping. 

By the time Leo had noticed, it was too late. Don slipped off his shell, his weak grip unable to hold him up for the duration. Leo moved one of his hands to catch his brother. The water making it extremely hard to hold his position. He snags Don’s wrist, the movement causing him to slip down the chute a few feet. There isn’t enough room in the slide to dodge Donatello’s body as it collides with Michelangelo. Mikey slips with a squeal and grabs Donatello’s ankle, hoping to catch him from falling further. The drop causes a chain of events that make Mikey collide with Raphael, who in turn drops down. He’s smart enough to realize that if he also grabs onto his brother’s, Leo wouldn’t be able to hold them all up. Instead he takes his sai and stabs it into the metal wall, halting his slip.

An echo above alerts the turtles of an incoming wave of water. Leo grunts as the water causes his grip to falter. “I can’t...hold on.” Leo grits his teeth as he feels his feet slip. 

Raph holds out his free hand to his brother, who’s trying to prop himself back up with his feet. “Mikey grab on!” Mikey swings his nunchuck to Raph who grasps it just as Leo slips. They clatter onto each other with a yelp. Raphael swings his feet up to the other side of the chute, hoping to catch them. Unfortunately the impact of three turtles outweighs Raph’s power, his feet slipping immediately. Thankfully Mikey is still holding onto his nunchucks, and in turn Raph. 

He calls out to Leo, who grabs Mikey’s hand as he falls past, a tight grip still on Don’s wrist. The sudden pull causes Leo to cry out as a sickening pop echoes. 

Raph’s sai starts to slip with the weight, “Someone needs to start climbing or find a new purchase cause I’m slipping here!”

Leo attempts to pull Dontello up to Mikey so he can pull out his sword. He gets almost a foot up before another pop is heard and Donatello is yanked back down by gravity. 

“Don, can you climb up?” Leo asks through gritted teeth. He needs his hand free so that he can lodge his sword in the chute before Raph’s own perch becomes dislodged. He considered having Donatello just hang on to him while he grabbed it, but due to reason they were in this situation, he decided he didn’t want to risk his brother slipping again. If he did fall, he wouldn’t be able to guarantee that he’d have a free hand to catch him. At least this way he could.

Donatello attempts to use whatever adrenaline he has left to hoist himself up to Leo’s shoulder. As soon as he gets a hold of Leo he tries to pull himself up, letting go of Leo’s grip. 

“That’s it Don, just a bit more!” Mikey encourages. Donatello fights his doubling vision, a sudden churning in his stomach from the realization of how claustrophobic he’s starting to feel. He looks up at the entrance of the chute, it looks so far away. There’s no way he can reach it. The walls start closing in and Don feels it get harder to breathe. 

“Oh please, Donnie don’t hurl on me!” Mikey squirms, noticing his brother’s sickening expression. 

Suddenly, another wave of water rushes over them, causing Donatello to lose his balance. He slips off of Leo who in turn, grabs Donnie’s elbow, his grip sliding back to Don’s wrist as he yelps at the force on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry!” Donnie calls up.

Leo squeezes his eyes shut, trying to overcome the burning in his shoulder as he plays it off. “It’s okay Don, just try again.”

He feels his brother attempt to pull himself up again, this time only getting half as far as before. He grabs Leo’s belt, hoping the extra purchase will give him enough help to get that extra distance that he needs. When he gets close enough he lets go of Leo’s belt, his hand shooting to Leo’s shoulder before his other arm can give out. As soon as he touches Leo’s shoulder, his arm gives, propelling him back down. To Leo’s lament, the motion sends shooting pain through his arm, almost causing him to lose hold of his brother. 

Donnie lets out a shaky breath, shaking his head. “I can’t, I can't do it. I’m sorry Leo.”

“It’s okay Don, we’ll think of something else.”

“Well think of something quick,” Raph yells down to them, “I don’t know how much longer this thing’ll hold!”

Leo grit his teeth. If he could grab Donatello with his legs, that would free up his arm, but there’s no way he would be able to pull him up far enough in his shoulder’s current condition. Leo cursed himself for not trying earlier.

“Just, just let me go,” Leo’s head whipped to his brother’s face, too shocked to respond. “You’ll be able to pull yourselves up without me weighing you down!” Donnie continued.

After his brothers had processed what he said, a flurry of protests echoed down.

“Donnie no!”

“Have you gone mad?”

“There’s no way we’re doing that!”

Donnie closed his eyes. For a moment the tunnel was quiet. Quiet enough to hear the metal grate of Raphael’s sai slipping further. Suddenly Donnie is fighting Leo’s grip. Earning a confused response from Leo. “What are you doing?”

“Leo let go, we’re all going to fall at this point.”

Leo’s eyes widen, “Don stop!”

“Your shoulder’s hurt, you’re not strong enough to pull me up!” This only causes Leo to grasp Donatello’s wrist tighter.

“Donnie don’t do this!” Leo can feel his grip weakening now that Donatello has stopped trying to hold on.

“Like hell he is!” Raph growls as he swings upward, trying to grab Michelangelo with his feet. The movement causes his sai to dislodge and all four feel their stomach flip at the sudden drop. Mikey yelps in surprise as Raphael wraps his legs around him, freeing Raph’s hand so that he can use his other sai to secure their hold. The yank of the new hold causes more pain in Leo’s shoulder, weakening his grip further. Panic takes him as he feels his own hold slip from Donatello’s wrist to his fingers.

Now that Raph has both his sai in the walls, he order’s Mikey to move. Mikey grabs Leo with both hands, pulling him upwards until Leo can get a foothold on his brother. He continues up, getting to Raph’s shoulders while Mikey supports him. With a yell he hurls Donnie out of the chute, jumping to follow him. 

Mikey is next to exit, taking Leo’s hand as he jumps. Both brothers turn to help Raph, who ignores the hands, barrelling out of the chute with purpose. 

He moves past his brothers, making a beeline for Don, who’s kneeling in the water nearby. He grabs his brother, forcing him up and against the wall, his face inches away as he snarls. “Now I’m certain you must have gotten brain damage because there’s no way in shell anyone of us would have agreed to drop you!” Raph is livid, and with each word he jabs at Don’s chest. 

“That’s enough Raph.” Leo grabs Raph’s arm. “There will be plenty of time to berate our brother _after_ we get back.”

Raphael stares at his brother for a moment more, trying to convey all of the anger and frustration he was feeling earlier into his eyes. He lets go of Donatello, who falls immediately, splashing into the sewer water with a hearty thud. While everyone can understand how their brother feels, both Leo and Mikey can also understand wanting to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love. No one would accept it from the other, but it’s a thought that had crossed all of their minds before.

Mikey watches as Donnie shakes, his eyes unfocused, before retching whatever liquid he had left inside him. Donatello was instantly taken back to the triceraton ship, at the many many times he was manhandled, lifted up, thrown like he weighed nothing. The demands of the triceratons littered his thoughts. He let out a shaky breath as the threats kept repeating inside his head. The Prime Leader had talked about one too many different ways he’d like to end him and his brothers, going into great detail. Donnie had no reason to think that his brother’s would have ever even found him, let alone rescue him. He had faced the facts that he’d have to escape on his own, and the fact terrified him. Don used to love space, but right now even the thought of it was enough to send him into panic.

Donnie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the memories out. He could see the Prime Leader’s face where Raph had been staring at him with similarly intense and threatening eyes. He knew it was Raph and not a triceraton, but his body wasn’t listening to reason.

Mikey, overcome with his own anger at the defence of his brother, grabs Raphael’s shoulder as he walks past. “Dude! What’s your problem?”

“Forget it!” Raph shrugs off Mikey’s hand as he storms off ahead, “Let’s just get back already.”

Mikey watches his brother walk out of sight, still confused about his behavior. When he turns back he sees Leo kneeling by Don, who is still slumped against the wall. As he walks towards them he notices Don’s worse than before. He’s focused on the water below him, hunched over and gasping. Leo’s talking to him in a calm but serious voice, telling him that it’s okay, that everything’s fine. Mikey wonders why Leo is being so motherly to Don, until he notices that the reason Donatello is wheezing is because he can’t breathe. 

Donnie wonder’s why his brother is telling him to just breathe, because that’s all he can think about doing at the moment. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how many breaths he takes, it’s not enough. His chest feels so tight, and all the oxygen feels lacking, like he’s drowning. Why wasn’t there enough oxygen? Why couldn’t he get a deep enough breath? He tries to move his hand up to his brother, but his body feels so weak all of a sudden. He has to focus all his energy just move something as simple as his finger, and even then they’re clumsy and fumbling. The heavy sluggish movement makes everything look like it’s in slow motion. His head is throbbing. It feels like his heart is beating a million miles per second, causing his already feverish blood to grow hotter.

It feels like he has blinders on. He sees someone walking towards him behind Leo, but he can’t make out who it is. He can’t tell if it’s his lungs that aren’t cooperating or if it’s his throat restricting his air. The piercing ringing in his ears makes it hard to hear anything else his brother’s are saying, and the muffled mantra of Leo’s calm reassurances are the last thing he remembers hearing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments in each chapter! They really help motivate me when I'm feeling stuck on a part!


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short epilogue to leave you with a warm feeling in your heart.

Raph is the first one to make it back to the lair. His journey alone giving him plenty of time to cool off and regret his outburst. He shouldn’t have left them. With Leo’s hurt shoulder and Donnie basically being dead weight, a single platoon of triceratons would be enough to outmatch them. What was he thinking taking off like that? The problem was he wasn’t. Too often he let his emotions drive his actions. Raph mentally kicked himself for letting it happen again at such a crucial time.

With a heavy growl Raphael turns back to the tunnel, if not to apologize then to at least help carry Don. With Leo’s injury, Mikey’d have to carry him. He was probably complaining about it right now. Raph barely makes it a step outside before his brothers bolt into their home, Mikey shooting past him with Donnie on his back.

“Raph get the water running!” Leo dashes past his brother, headed for the kitchen. Raph follows, advertising how out of the loop he is to the leader. 

Leo whips open the freezer as Mikey carefully lays his brother on the couch, calling back to Leo before dashing off again. “I’ll do it!”

“What the shell is happening?” Raph asks, throwing his hands up. Leo grabs the bucket of ice cubes and as many ice packs as he can. The weight causes him to wince as his weakened arm nearly drops the container. Raph is quick to catch it, taking most of it from his brother. 

“Don’s fever spiked after you left. He started spouting delusional nonsense. We couldn’t make sense of it, he ended up having a seizure.”

This time Raph was the one to nearly drop the ice. “What…” Raph’s heart fell. He left them for only a few moments, how could Don get so much worse this quick? Raphael had no reason to believe his outburst was a factor in Donnie’s worsening state, but that didn’t make the guilt stop from blooming. 

He hastily followed his brother to Don’s side. Now that he was laid out in front of him, Raph could see clearly the change in his brother’s state. Donatello’s breathing was too shallow, the slight squeal of his windpipe that occured with each struggle for breath, the sweat covering every inch of him, the deep sunken eyes. Leo placed a thermometer against his brother’s temple. They listened to their brother’s bated breath as they waited for the resulting beep.

Raph caught Leo’s furrowed brow, “How bad is it?”

Leo put the thermometer down, replacing it with an ice pack as he replied dryly. “106.7.”

Raph joined his brother on the floor, inching closer to Don. “His brain’s gotta be melting.”

At this moment Mikey had returned, stating that the bath was ready.

“Good.” Leo replied, “His pulse is too weak, we need to get his fever down fast.” Raph hoisted his brother up while Mikey and Leo grabbed the ice. They dumped everything they had into the tub, turning to Raph.

Donnie felt like the sun against Raphael’s skin. The awkward angle in his arms making his breathing even more of a struggle. Raph stared at the waters, slightly hesitant to place his brother inside. Eventually he did, ever so gently. Whether it was to keep Don from going into shock or just a loving gesture, no one knew. Once Raph saw that Don’s head laid comfortably without any danger of slipping beneath the surface, he knelt. 

Leo placed a comforting hand on his younger brother’s shell, “All we can do now is wait.”

Raph grasped the lip of the tub as an unsettling feeling overcame him. He inched closer, eyeing Donatello, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest as the movement caused small ripples in the water. He placed his hand on his brother’s head. He could feel the swelling and see the bruises from earlier starting to appear on his face. Dark, sunken circles surrounding his eyes contrast against the white tub.

“He hit his head on the bars.” His brother’s turn to Raph, waiting for him to elaborate. “When that stupid genius tried to help me, he was thrown into them.” Raphael’s voice was quiet, calm, serious enough for his brother’s to listen intently while their brother recounted the events. “He almost drowned.”

Everyone was silent. Raph’s eyes never left his sleeping brother.

He knew Donatello was safe now, but the cold water lining the form of his unconscious brother was too reminiscent of the unpleasant brush with death. His mind replaced the current image he saw with the one of Donnie’s limp body in the water chamber. Raph’s head sunk as he closed his eyes, willing that moment to erase from his mind altogether. 

“This is all my fault.”

Leo moved to his brother, his hand outstretched, but Raph moved, standing to punch the tiled wall as he repeated his words. This time laced with disgust at his own frustrations.

There’s a bright light overhead. For a moment Donatello thinks he’s outside, the sun blinding him. It burns his eyes and reminds him just how badly his head is throbbing. He tried swallowing, but his throat was so dry he couldn’t. It felt so sore, like a baseball had been lodged inside. He dully thinks it’s probably damaged by the acid from his stomach. He can’t remember ever feeling this exhausted in his life. Not all of the sleepless nights in the lab or even the many times they had been pushed to their physical limits compared. 

He tried to move his head away from the light, lulling it to the side where he could hear someone’s voice. Someone was yelling, Donnie squinted his eyes as the white spot blocked the scene in front of him, the light having burned itself into his retinas. It was so hard to think. He wanted nothing more than to just turn over and close his eyes.

His whole body ached, but he realized that he no longer felt the intense overwhelming fire of his fever. In fact, he felt extremely cold. He tried to move his head, to see who was talking as his vision finally cleared. His face met with a piercing cold ice cube and he realized he was submerged in an ice bath. _No wonder I feel so cold._

He moved his attention to his brothers, who were all turned away from him. He tried to call out but his voice caught in his throat, and before he could try again Raph quieted. 

“You weren’t there Leo, I almost lost him.” The voice he heard come out of his brother caused him to hesitate, instead intently listening on. Raph’s voice was so small, so unlike how it usually was, it caught Donatello off guard. “I-I can’t...I can’t do it again. I’m not strong enough.” 

For a moment nobody moved, but Leo gently placed a hand on his shoulder, his voice equally as quiet, yet firm. “You saved him Raph, you did everything you could.” Leo looks back at his resting brother, counting the shallow breaths filling his chest. “Donnie’s still with us, and we’ll make sure he stays that way, together.” 

At that Raph relaxed his shoulders. He knew it was true, but hearing someone actually say it helped calm the unrest he felt. Leo turned away from Raph, placing a loving hand on Donatello’s head. His sweating has ceased, his breaths steadily getting deeper. “The ice bath will bring his fever down. He shouldn’t be in any immediate danger anymore.”

His brother’s hear the cracked voice of the sick turtle, causing them to turn. Leo watches Donnie’s eyes struggle to focus on him. “Everyone is so loud.”

“Donnie!” Mikey launches to the tub, moving Leo aside as he hugs his brother. The motion causes some of the water to splash over the edge and onto Leo.

“How are you feeling?” Leo asks as Raph joins them at the edge of the tub.

“Like my brain is oozing out of my ears.”

Leo smiles down at his brother, “Glad to see you’re awake.”

“Yeah bro, you really gave us a scare!” Mikey adds, refusing to let go of his brother.  
“Let’s get you some medicine and into bed.”

His brothers help Donnie up, catching him as vertigo swarms his vision, causing him to stumble out of the tub. “Easy now, we got you. Just lean on us.”

They lead Donnie to his room, Mikey scooping up the bandages and ointment as he follows after. Getting to the bed drained Donatello of whatever energy he had left. He couldn’t even feel the bed sheets on top of him as he was covered. His brother’s words were garbled. Even though he couldn’t quite understand what they were saying, hearing their voices brought him comfort. He felt something cool slide down his throat, realizing that it must be medicine. His head was laid back against something soft, and he struggled to keep his eyes open any longer. 

When Donatello awoke again, he felt warm. Not the suffocating heat he remembers from his fever, but a comforting radiating warmth enveloping him. His mind breaks through the fog, and he realizes he’s laying in his own bed. Several pillows are piled around him, elevating his head. He tries to move his arm, thankful that his brain doesn’t feel like it’s busting at the seams currently. Thankfully it complies. He rubs his face, his hand colliding with the now cooled ice pack on his temple. 

His other arm is asleep. He tries to move it, but it’s blocked. He turns, making out the form of his younger brother in the darkness. Mikey is spread out beside him, his mouth open and sleeping soundly. Donnie can’t help but smile at the image. He shifts his arm out from Mikey’s hold, and notices a tightness in his thigh. He moves his hand down, surprised to feel bandages. In a moment he remembers the gash on his thigh. He had totally forgotten about it. Someone must have cleaned up the wound while he was sleeping.

A deep breathing pulls him from his thoughts. He turns to his right, looking beside the bed to catch another form on the floor. The figure rolls over in his sleep, and Donnie realizes it was Raph’s snores that he had heard earlier. He didn’t look very comfortable, the single blanket half-hazardly splayed over his lower body. His hand almost collides with the bowl of water next to him as he turns again. Raph is using one of the towels from the pile next to him as a pillow, and Don realizes it’s Raph who’s been changing the packs on his head. 

Finally he makes out Leonardo. His brother is sitting by the door, the only light source coming from the crack in it. His shell is against the wall, his head tucked into his chest. An ice pack is tied to his shoulder. Donnie can see the bandages underneath, his arm cradled in a sling against his chest. His expression is tired, but relaxed as he rests. The soft smile returns to Donatello as he feels overwhelmed by the comfort of their presence. After everything he’s been through, he still has his brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support as I wrote this! I hope reading it left you feeling satisfactory. I wrote a few scenes where Donatello has nightmares, but decided to save them for a SAINW reaction piece. Now I don't know if I want to start my original tmnt story or something about the 2018 turtles next...


End file.
